Hank Green Mules Are So Half Ass Lyrics

The mink lost her furry scarf, she said it was stolen,
The shoe salesman wanted to help, 'cause he had so much
sole,
But then his whole left side fell off, but he's all
right now,
The pregnant heifer saw it happen, yeah, she had a cow,
And the CO2 delivery guy always gives me gas,
And I really hate mules because they're so half-ass,
Yeah, I really hate mules because they're so half-ass.

The bike can't stand up by itself, it says it's two-
tired,
The human cannonball was late for work and he got
fired,
And if your pants are too big you'll get exposed in the
end,
And if you crash your fancy car you'll see how a
mercedez bends,
And the CO2 delivery guy always gives me gas, And I really hate mules because they're so half-ass,
Yeah, I really hate mules because they're so half-ass.

I forgot how to throw a boomerang, but then it came
back to me,
It's just like riding a bike, or playing with your wii,
If you don't pay your excorcist, you'll get
repossessed,
The pirate shot himself so he could have that dead
man's chest,
And the CO2 delivery guy always gives me gas,
And I really hate mules because they're so half-ass,
Yeah, I really hate mules because they're so half-ass,
Yeah, I really hate mules because they're so half-ass,
Yeah, I really hate mules because they're so half-ass.