Half Man Half Biscuit Ecclesiastical Perks Lyrics

In pulpits. In pulpits
They can preach naked from the waist downwards
In cloisters
they can smack each others' arses.

These be ecclesiastical perks.
These be ecclesiastical perks.

Cheap flagstones. Cheap floagstones.
Clergyman he's got a drive to lay.
Clergyman he's got a drive to lay.
Wet sponges (at the summer fair)
shall miss me.

These be ecclesiastical perks.
These be ecclesiastical perks.

Rumour had it there was none left
so I swiftly walked 'round to Archie's house. 'Archie, people are saying you haven't got any,
what am I supposed to do? You know the situation.'

'Reverend. Come, sit down. For you there is always
some. How much do you need?'

I'm gonna bottle up my love and shake it up and down,
and spray it all over Jesus.

> Joke breasts on; no seat-belt;
nice policeman; Fierce Panda; all-nighter
> Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
These be.
These be.
These be.