Hair My Conviction Lyrics

You know kids, I wish every mom
and dad would make a speech to their
teenagers and say kids, be free,
be whatever you are, do whatever you
want to do, just so long as you don't hurt anybody.
And remember kids,
I am your friend.

I would just like to say that it is my conviction
That longer hair and other flamboyant affectations Of appearance are nothing more
Than the male's emergence from his drab camoflage
Into the gaudy plumage
Which is the birthright of his sex

There is a peculiar notion that elegant plumage
And fine feathers are not proper for the male
When ac---tually
That is the way things are
In most species