Hello, I'm Bud from Bud's Medical Center. Come on out to Bud's. We're having a special this weekend on head injuries. Any sort of head injury from a black eye to a whole caved-in skull is just $1.50 this weekend at Bud's. We'll also give a free estimate to anyone who's bleeding. If you're sick or injured or diseased or hurt or maimed or disfigured or imperfect in any way... or you just flat don't feel good, come on out to Bud's Medical Center.
Bud's! Where all the sick people go!
Here are some notes of community interest. The Beverly Hills Chamber of Poor Taste is sponsoring a hunger banquet, "Hors d'oeuvres for Bangladesh" this weekend.
On Sunday evening, The National Association for the Advancement of Checkered People presents a musical revue, "Hats Off to the Stillborn" at the New Jersey State Hospital for the Recently All Right.
Here is a reminder from the American Medical Association.
Don't pour sulfuric acid on your genitals!
(female voice again:)
And now, back to "Fussy Eater".