M.h.'s Jokes Lyrics

[MES is the one swearing a lot]

Anyway, this guy goes "f**kin 'ell, you don' 'alf complain for an eleven year old do you?"


-That machine is nice

-f**k off it took me ages to get that, yeah

-I want that machine

-Yeah what yeah right,

-clean joke


-If I tell a good clean joke, can I have that?

-No you f**kin can't

-I want it, honest

-You can't have it

-There's no VUs coming up there at all. Is it supposed to have VUs on it?

-No, it's not. 'S f**kin' my machine, that. Keep your hands off it.

-It's your machine. It's a VU-less machine. Sure it's recording, Mark? Better turn the volume up. OK, what d'you call a guy with a spade in his head? Doug.

-Jesus, that's pathetic.

-What d'you call a guy who's been dead and buried for 30,000 years? Pete. (nervous laugh) Come on, then, astound me with your wit, Mark.


-Come on, rewind it, let's see what you had to say.

-Erm, we've been through this before, haven't we?

-Right I'll do it for the tape like all them other bands do, like we've done it once, but the cameras weren't rolling

-Nah, I'm thinking of my joke actually.

-So I'm reading Frank Zappa, right, it's an au- it's a biography by Frank Zappa

-Right [MES totally disinterested]

-And - errrr - it's 1988, I go tup to 1988 and the book is about how many things he released, when he released it


-How many offshoots and all this shit, and all of a sudden I'm realising, errr

-More interested when you were talking about Napoleon actually

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