Dodger Guild Ho! Lyrics

I saw a lovely darkened elf
With hair as sleek as ebony
Her armor seemed to betray
The forces of our gravity
I told her that I'd like to mount
But mounting me would be a treat
I stamped and swore
The sword she wore
Was not intended for deceit

Guild Ho!
Guild Ho!
Horde ho to victory!
No sum of gold could buy a better life
All else is misery!
Guild Ho!
Guild Ho!
Horde ho to victory!
So grab a beer
And flex your pecs
It's time for us to march!

I tripped upon a curvy gnome
Whose cheek was all be-speckly
Knee-high to me
I could forsee
A problem all quite vividly
She stood in shock as I explained
Positions that would work for us
She roared and railed
Cut off my tail
And left my bod in maimedness

Guild Ho!
Guild Ho!
Horde ho to victory!
No sum of gold could buy a better life
All else is misery
Guild Ho!
Guild Ho!
Horde ho to victory! So flex your pecs
And brush your tusks
It's time for us to march!

I nearly killed a human lass
Of whom I found most dull and bore
Her hair and nails did quite entail
The life of a barstander's whore
I cast her off and rolled my eyes
It's hardly worth an easy kill
It wasn't less than seconds left
Before I took myself a spill
Dear listener, it's good to know
Don't judge the cover of a book
My heart was won for her that day
After the beating that I took!

Guild Ho!
Guild Ho!
Horde ho to victory!
No sum of gold could buy a better life
All else is misery
Guild Ho!
Guild Ho!
Horde ho to victory!
So brush your tusks
And grab a beer
It's time for us to march!
So brush your tusks
And grab a beer
It's time for us to march!
So flex your pecs
And brush your tusks
It's time for us to march, march, march, march
(March, march, march)