Dick Siegel Downsize Blues Lyrics

What's this jive that you're tryin to tell me?
Do you think that I am someone dumb?
You can't cut twenty inches off my favorite tracks,
This ain't no Caddy now, I want my money back.

What you think they mean by this downsizing?
It just looks like cheaper to me.
Next they'll take the Liberty Bell
And downsize it's ring
And they'll take you my brother
And downsize your thing
I know if never meant nothin', Jack,
But they downsized my Cadillac.

Could it be there is some sort of problem?
Could it be that something isn't right?
I was "Mr. Save-Your-Sermon-For-Sunday-Church",
Now I'm "Mr. Need-Some-Preachin'" since they
Left me in the lurch.

I don't want to drive around in no Mercedes,
I don't want to drive around in no Jaguar,
All's I want's a front row seat where I can
Watch and Slip On Down
I put my hair on backwards,
My head's been turned around.
You know it never meant nothin', Jack
But they downsized my Cadillac

Well, now, I'm the kinda man, I never had a plan
I never had a thought of woe,
The worries of the world were incidental.
Eternal optimist, I never got pissed,
I never sang a sour note,
But, now I'm getting worried,
They're messing with something elemental.

Fifty feet will never make a mile, Sidewalk puddle'll never be a lake,
You can strike up a match-head, but you won't get a star,
You can buy yourself a Caddy now, and all you get's a car.
You know it never meant nothin, Jack,
But they downsized my Cadillac.

Sharp and shiny, So aristocratic,
Seats so long, wide and plush,
Plenty of leg room for me and my friends,
Now it looks just like a shoebox with chrome underwear
I look in my garage door, there ain't no Caddy there.

Now I'm the kinda guy, I never asked why,
I never wondered how,
My personality was carbonated.
I always had a gas, a pleasure and a half,
I never wore a furrowed brow,
But, now I'm getting worried,
My attitude is very dated.

So help me outta my four-star dilemma,
What you think a guy like me should do?
I can't drive around in no Chevrolet,
I need a full-size, someone gonna pay
I'm gonna crack my book of dreams and pick my number
Take my chance of life in the lottery.
I'm gonna spread my little pillow underneath that shady tree,
If you got a plan for something, come and talk to me.

Cause it never meant nothing, Jack
I know it never meant nothing, Jack
I know it never meant nothing, Jack
But they downsized my Cadillac.