Carefully On Tiptoe Stealing Lyrics

Enter Crew on tiptoe, with Ralph and Boatswain meeting
Josephine, who
enters from cabin on tiptoe, with bundle of
necessaries, and
accompanied by Little Buttercup.

ENSEMBLE -- MEN

Carefully on tiptoe stealing,
Breathing gently as we may,
Every step with caution feeling,
We will softly steal away.

(Captain stamps) -- Chord.

ALL (much alarmed). Goodness me--
Why, what was that?
DICK. Silent be,
It was the cat!
ALL. (reassured). It was -- it was the cat!
CAPT. (producing cat-o'-nine-tails). They're right, it
was the
cat!

ALL. Pull ashore, in fashion steady,
Hymen will defray the fare,
For a clergyman is ready
To unite the happy pair!

(Stamp as before, and Chord.)

ALL. Goodness me,
Why, what was that?
DICK. Silent be,
Again the cat!
ALL. It was again that cat!
CAPT. (aside). They're right, it was the cat!
CAPT. (throwing off cloak). Hold! (All start.)
Pretty daughter of mine,
I insist upon knowing
Where you may be going
With these sons of the brine,
For my excellent crew,
Though foes they could thump any,
Are scarcely fit company,
My daughter, for you.
CREW. Now, hark at that, do!
Though foes we could thump any,
We are scarcely fit company
For a lady like you!

RALPH. Proud officer, that haughty lip uncurl!
Vain man, suppress that supercilious sneer,
For I have dared to love your matchless girl,
A fact well known to all my messmates here!

CAPT. Oh, horror!

RALPH and JOS. I/He humble, poor, and lowly born,
The meanest in the port division--
The butt of epauletted scorn--
The mark of quarter-deck derision--
Have/Has dared to raise my/his wormy eyes
Above the dust to which you'd mould me/him
In manhood's glorious pride to rise,
I am/He is an Englishman -- behold me/him!

ALL. He is an Englishman!

BOAT. He is an Englishman!
For he himself has said it,
And it's greatly to his credit,
That he is an Englishman!

ALL. That he is an Englishman!

BOAT. For he might have been a Roosian,
A French, or Turk, or Proosian,
Or perhaps Itali-an!

ALL. Or perhaps Itali-an!

BOAT. But in spite of all temptations
To belong to other nations,
He remains an Englishman!

ALL. For in spite of all temptations, etc.

CAPT. (trying to repress his anger).
In uttering a reprobation
To any British tar,
I try to speak with moderation,
But you have gone too far.
I'm very sorry to disparage
A humble foremast lad,
But to seek your captain's child in marriage,
Why damme, it's too bad!

[During this, Cousin Hebe and Female Relatives have
entered.

ALL (shocked). Oh!
CAPT. Yes, damme, it's too bad! ALL. Oh!
CAPT. and DICK DEADEYE. Yes, damme, it s too bad.

[During this, Sir Joseph has appeared on poop-deck. He
is
horrified at the bad language.

HEBE. Did you hear him? Did you hear him?
Oh, the monster overbearing!
Don't go near him -- don't go near him--
He is swearing -- he is swearing!
SIR JOSEPH. My pain and my distress,
I find it is not easy to express;
My amazement -- my surprise--
You may learn from the expression of my eyes!
CAPT. My lord -- one word -- the facts are not before
you
The word was injudicious, I allow--
But hear my explanation, I implore you,
And you will be indignant too, I vow!
SIR JOSEPH. I will hear of no defence,
Attempt none if you're sensible.
That word of evil sense
Is wholly indefensible.
Go, ribald, get you hence
To your cabin with celerity.
This is the consequence
Of ill-advised asperity!

[Exit Captain, disgraced, followed by Josephine

ALL. This is the consequence,
Of ill-advised asperity!
SIR JOSEPH. For I'll teach you all, ere long,
To refrain from language strong
For I haven't any sympathy for ill-bred taunts!
HEBE. No more have his sisters, nor his cousins, nor
his
aunts.
ALL. For he is an Englishman, etc.

SIR JOSEPH. Now, tell me, my fine fellow -- for you are
a
fine fellow--
RALPH. Yes, your honour.
SIR JOSEPH. How came your captain so far to forget
himself?
I am quite sure you had given him no cause for
annoyance.
RALPH. Please your honour, it was thus-wise. You see
I'm
only a topman -- a mere foremast hand--
SIR JOSEPH. Don't be ashamed of that. Your position as
a
topman is a very exalted one.
RALPH. Well, your honour, love burns as brightly in the
fo'c'sle as it does on the quarter-deck, and Josephine
is the
fairest bud that ever blossomed upon the tree of a poor
fellow's
wildest hopes.

Enter Josephine; she rushes to Ralph's arms

JOS. Darling! (Sir Joseph horrified.)
RALPH. She is the figurehead of my ship of life -- the
bright beacon that guides me into my port of happiness
-- that
the rarest, the purest gem that ever sparkled on a poor
but
worthy fellow's trusting brow!
ALL. Very pretty, very pretty!
SIR JOSEPH. Insolent sailor, you shall repent this
outrage.
Seize him!
(Two Marines seize him and handcuff him.)
JOS. Oh, Sir Joseph, spare him, for I love him
tenderly.
SIR JOSEPH. Pray, don't. I will teach this presumptuous
mariner to discipline his affections. Have you such a
thing as a
dungeon on board?
ALL. We have!
DICK. They have!
SIR JOSEPH. Then load him with chains and take him
there at
once!

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