Cledus T. Judd Record Deal Lyrics

(spoken)
(Paul does this kind of thing every day,)
( Like what skip a rehearsal?
You know we got the CNA awards tomorrow night!
What are we gonna do about a drummer? )
Hey you come'ere,yeah you,
You ever played drums before? (no)want to?
(yeah) Git in there an'beat'em then (drums beating) o.k.hotdog,
start the song ya'lil' show boat, who ya'think ya'are Tommy Lee Jones?
Not bad for a... 4 year old.

(song starts)

Been dang near 2 years since I've had a beer,
(Huh) bi'gosh thats changin'tonight.
Gonna start me a tab, call me a cab (whistle)
Taxi! might even git in a fight.
I ain't goin hog wi'lin forever, gonna have myself a night
I can't remember.
Miller lites, shot a'crown, man that stuff burns goin down,(ahh!)
1 to many coke an'jacks, it'll all come floodin'back.
That o'll quervos way to strong,
But 1 more'fore I go home,fire up the blender! Gonna have myself a night I can't remember.
(Uuhhh, get me a cold towel, an'a gun.)

Drunk ain't my style an'it'll be a long while'fore
I pull that stunt again.(oh my head)
Tylenol an'Tums, ohh here it comes, I'm prayin to the porcelain.
This hang over can't last forever, done had myself a night
I can't remember. (ohhh!)
Shot out the lights, kicked down the door, woke up face down on the floor.
I'd better call someone an'ask how'd I wind up in this cast,
I got stemps on both my hands,
I wonder who slung that beer can right through my 'winder,
Done had myself a night I can't remember. (ooooohhhhhhh!)
My dang livers nearly gone, NAA's where I belong, hey, thanks bartender.
Done had myself a night I can't remember.
(12 steps my foot , I can't even take 2...an' by the way kid your hired,
Just no drankin'...I mean it.)