Real Friends Before Covid Lyrics

Blame it all on bat poop
Now there's nothing to do
But day drink until it all ends
My crew can't come near
I'm social distancin' here
Am I losing my mind well, that depends

Made new friends with my broom
And my Dyson vac too
Turns out Swiffer can pour a mean drink
Ms. Shovel ain't bad, but hogs the covers in bed
I love 'em but, man, it's a shame

Cause I had real friends before Covid
Didn't have to pretend
That this ball I'm holdin's real name is Shane
"What's up Shane?"
It just ain't the same

Yeah, I remember when we could be together
We could high five hands without Purell lather
Oh, I had real friends before Covid

Well, I had my first date
And Alexa was great!
In the end she said, it wouldn't last
Then I started to wink At my Peloton screen
But she kept on ridin' my a-a-a-a...

I tried to hang out with shoe
But he was kind of a douche
And lamp was always on the phone
My old Crossfit shirt was good listener, for sure
But I'm sick of being alone!

Cause I had real friends before Covid
Didn't have to pretend that this plant I'm growin'
Can play charades
He sucks every game

Yeah, I remember when we could be together
We could high five hands without Purell lather
Yeah, I had real friends before Covid

Oh, I had real friends before Covid
I can hang out with them [?]

I'm missin' them while I stay at home
And I'm so sick of plannin' out my Zoom callin'
Oh, I had real friends before Covid
Cause I had real friends before Covid

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