Bing Crosby The Pessimistic Character Lyrics

Throw him out the window, he can't stay
How did he get in here anyway?
What do we want with him? Around the place
The pessimistic character with the crab apple face

When he hears a joke he always cries
When there's any fun, he darn near dies
What do you say we laugh at his sad case?
The pessimistic character with the crab apple face

He's never welcome
Anywhere he goes
Let him stay where he belongs
In a book of Edgar Allan Poe's, why don't we lose him?

Wrap him in a blanket carefully
Throw him out the window 1 2 3
It'll be great to wear a grinning chase
The pessimistic character with the crab apple face

Don't you ever let him get you all alone He's the worst companion ever known
He doesn't know how to keep a merry pace
The pessimistic character with the crab apple face

When there's any trouble how he boasts
He enjoys a graveyard and he loves ghosts
Smile he'll disappear and leave no trace
That old fuddy duddy with the crab apple face

He's got a hand shake
Just like a lemon peel
He's the soul of discontent
With the disposition of a heel, oh what a icky

He's no good at dancing, he can't sing
He despises rainbows and he hates spring
Why do we want him in the human race?
The pessimistic character with the crab apple face