A Square In The Social Circle Lyrics

I used my silver spoon at birth
For throwing meatballs at my nurse
And much to my regret
I can't mingle with the social set.

I use the wrong fork at the Stork in New York
My manners ain't fit for a goof
I'm just a square in the social circle
Who put that fly in my soup?

I'd rather go out with a lout to a bout
Than sleep in a symphony hall
I'm just a square in the social circle
Who knocked my gum off that wall?

When the orderly order flows like butter
I want to start pitchin' a curve
With a silly old blighter on a first nighter
I feel like a pickled hors d'ouvres, no verve

I never felt gay in a fancy beret
I wear babooshka or burst
I'm just a square in the social circle
Finger bowls hurt me the worst
They just don't quench my thirst!

Mrs. Vanderhorst will greet me with a fourteen carat shout
"My Dear, you've simply got to come to my daughter's coming out"
Her daughter is a Frankenstein, a Dracula in mink
When she comes out, each stag will shout "Gadzooks, I need a drink" I've dined in clubs, I've elbow rubbed from Yonkers to Cheyenne
Phoo to you, bud, take your blue blood and stick it in your fountain pen!

I wanna brush all the plush and the gush
I'd rather get left than be right
I'm just a square in the social circle
Anyone here want a fight?

None of me fits with the wits at the Ritz
I'd rather relax on a stool
I'm just a square in the social circle
Anyone wanna shoot pool?

When the cookie with cabbage gets too savage
Wrastle him three out of four
I would rather a sailor hop in my trailer
And show me his nautical lore, why sure

The ladies in frills only fill me with chills
They're soft as a ball of chenille
I'm just a square in the social circle
I got a muscle of steel
Anyone here want to feel?

I'm as square as a pair in a bootaneer
Fancy silk won't stay on
I'm designed for rayon
But I just don't seem to care
I'm a square!

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