Bargain Music In The Middle Lyrics

Well here it goes
You all listen up here now
Cause this here is a tale here uh
Really needs to be told
Cause americans we truly believe in this
Howdy folks this is the skatanic rednecks
I'm the skatanic mechanic
I'm hank roller and this here is the
Skatanic mechanic
Please keep those hands and arms and pecker inside the train
And remain seated at all times
Now then
Hang on to them hats and glasses
Cause this here is the wildest f*cking ride in the wilderness

You damn kids get off of that tractor right now
Get out of that f*cking tomato patch you little shits
We're from the backwoods of huntington beach and uh
This is a tale that needs to be told
Cause this here is the wildest ride in the wilderness

I used to have a favorite blanket when I was a babe
I next picked up a cigarette at twelve years of age
Then alcohol and marijuana
Gave me the security that I wanted
But the novelty wore off I was alone and afraid
But now I find my favorite fix
Comes from the company of a chick
And I don't care about her height her weight or her bra size
I don't give a shit if she can cook on the griddle
As long as she's got a p*ssy in the middle
And an asshole to match
I don't mind if she works in a sweat shop in china
As long as she's got a steaming hot vagina
How I worship that snatch
And I don't care what you want to call it
A muff or a bare taco with nothing on it
I'm still in love
I'm so in love
And I don't necessarily care
But they're better when they don't have any hair

What's up with that tumbleweed
If there's grass on the field mow it
You know I always said before you get your wagon on the trail you need to clear the bush
If you need a chainsaw to clear it
Don't go near it
You get off of that f*cking tractor
How's that you guys
Or are we rolling