Andy Samberg Roy Rules Lyrics

[Spoken]
Did you know there's over a billion people in the world?
There's over a million in New York alone
But the only one I'm into is my brother-in-law, ROY!

ROY RULES!
He's married to my sister
He wakes up in the morning
Watches Dora with my neice
And then macks on bananas
ROY RULES!
He works out in the morning
He runs in the park
And does a bunch of crunches
So he's got a killer bod-ay

[Spoken]
I'm so glad my sister married Roy
He gets along great with my whole family
He's hardworking, and great with kids
Oh and also, I wanna have sex with Roy!

ROY RULES!
I'd really like to taste him
We'll take off our pants
And wail on each other
Burn the marriage license in a wastebin

[Spoken]
Don't get me wrong I'm not interested in Roy sexually
He's my sister's husband!
Still, though, if we did hook up,
It would be a 24/7 69!

ROY RULES!
He works in an office
I've got this theory
He was put on earth
By God to give men
SUCCULENT RUBB DOWNZ!
Roy, won't you come with me... ?

ROY RULES!
He love to wear t-shirts
But in my dreams
He is dressed like a pirate
And my dong is his peg leg

[Spoken]
So there you have it
This song is about my real life, brother-in-law, Roy
Just so you know, the dude in this video wasn't the actual Roy
THIS is the actual Roy
So I think you can see where I'm coming from
Oh, and Roy?
Next time I see you, don't be all weird about this.
You knew what you were getting into.