Suicide Note Lyrics

[Intro]
Yo, hold on. I wasn't gon drop this song and I know this is last minute. But I'm sorry, there's just some stuff I gotta get off my chest. This ain't no diss. It's just how I feel

[Verse 1]
Here we go
Shit been outta hand and I've been tryna cope
Tryna hold my head when things been going wrong
I'm tryna be strong but I feel like I'm losing control
Tired of holding it in
Nobody's solid, all these niggas just go with the wind
I try to be the one that people can call in the end
I try to be the one for people to call on a friend
Been tryna knock the ball off the fence
A million-dollar mind is wealth
It helps it all make sense
Don't pay attention to these nigga tryna act and pretend
I wrote this note because I feel like I'm approaching the end
So, I'll start over again
And last night I got to thinking to myself
What if there was no hurt
I feel like I can't do this by myself
That's why Jesus comes first
Sometimes I plan to lay 6, 7 songs
But I'll leave with a verse
They say there's no reason to curse
But when I take the time to look around
All I see is depression
I'll find myself inside a mess
But I'll leave with a message
I got a target on my back
All these people is desperately tryna end me
I'm tryna grow but these niggas hate to see me progressing
Don't give a damn bout tryna follow a thrill
I've been trying to play my cards
But it's been harder to deal
The other night my mama called me, said she loved me
So, I rushed back to the crib and I walked in on her tryna swallow a bottle of pills
Damn, so then we cried
Reached out to God together
Promised my mom I'd always ride
And that we'd die together
So, then she looked at me with tears all in her eyes
And told me she can't lose her son
So, then we prayed and asked for God to help us
I hold a lot of anger
This shit is from me to you
And it really hurts to sit back and see what Anita doing
It really sucks to see her doing everything to ruin A young nigga tryna grow to be a positive human
I gotta speak my truth
I thank the Lord that you ain't rub off on me
Not tryna be fake like you
Walk around with a guilty conscience
But they'll make lies do
People phony, they say they love you
But they'll hate x2
Niggas'll flip like its acrobatics
Pretend that they have your back
Then forget you and act an ass
Walk around like it never happened
Fast forward to the aftermath
They'll pretend that they're half as bad
And continue to laugh and brag
Let me school you, it's back to class
I grew up never having enough
All the people I've been chillin with
Turns out they all was corrupt
Niggas be crapin on my name
That shit be grimy as f*ck
Some people feel you wrong Anita
But too scared to speak up
Well I'm a tell you what's up
The people who feel that is Benny, Lala and Tatiana
And David and Ahvionne
And Atoya and Elder Lyons
And Toni, my bro, my mom
Even Ashia, they know the vibes
And you played me but that's alright
I've been reaching for higher heights
God'll teach you what's wrong and right
I ain't preaching, I'm born to fight
I've been seeking the Lord
I might write a movie to tell my life's story
But most importantly
Fortunately, God's performing and restoring
Thank God he's pouring these blessings down
Through the storm, I mean woah
Lately I'm stressing cause I've been tryna win
People been painting fake pictures
Guess we in La La Land
Enter the mind of a girl who fantasizes
Of being with someone she ain't supposed to be with and burns her hand
She searched for love, found somebody
Tried to get close to him
But listen, here's the twist
She got caught up and blamed…

[Outro]
I'm a chill. There's so much I wanna say right now. But we live in a society where, if you're a black man, all odds are stacked against you. The niggas that think they know, don't have a f*cking clue. Alex…

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