Adam & Joe Apprentice Song Lyrics

I'm going to be the next Apprentice, I'm the best man
for the job
Although I'm vain and self-deluded and I'm quite a
massive knob
Sir Alan, please believe me, I'm a business tycoon
I could sell ice cubes to the Eskimos and deck-chairs
on the moon

(You think you're a good team leader?)
I can't believe you'd ask!
Team Velocimax did great on the task.
Yeah, we made no money and we fought all the time.
And I refused to listen, but is that a flipping
crime?!)
(Who should be fired?)
(You should fire the boring one.
He doesn't seem to realise that it's a TV show.
You've gotta act like a total utter prat, otherwise,
you know...)
(You're fired.)
(Ohh...)

Thank goodness you've got rid of him, 'cause I'm the
one who's best
Although I'm bitchy and insufferable and thick like
all the rest
But I've got management experience from my time in
burger shops
And I really love to delegate and think outside the box.
(You're fired.)

For your task this week you must re-brand some
vegetables
And then convince a load of kiddies that the
vegetables are cool
And then the team that sells the most amount of
veggies gets the prize
Of doing something that's more dull than you can ever
realise

I was the project manager, we tried hard at the test
Although we didn't sell a thing, I think we were the
best
(You're fired.)

He's a stupid moron, she's a stupid moron
I'm going to win 'cause I am a genius
For goodness sake, Sir Alan, don't employ a moron
Take a look at me.
(Get back to the house!)

I'm going to be the next Apprentice, I'm the best one
for the job
Although I'm vain and self-deluded and I'm quite a
massive knob
I'm going to be the next Apprentice, I'm the best one
for the job
Although I'm vain and self-deluded and I am
Quite a massive knob.
(You're fired.)