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Snow is falling in the city Past the windows which cast a glow Through the curtains, friends and flirtin’ Christmas trees and mistletoe Snow keeps fallin’ in the city Powdered sugar on the hats of passersby And all I can do is eat Moo Shu And cry, cry, cry 'cause I’ve got Jesus Envy Jesus Envy I remember each December As the preparations reached a fevered peak And the Tabors, my next-door neighbors Would jump into high gear each Christmas week And all their tree lights and other delights Made my menorah look like someone’s cruel hoax ‘Til my shrink, Dr. Charoses made the diagnosis And named the feeling that each Christmastime evokes He called it Jesus Envy Jesus Envy Don’t get me wrong. I’m proud to be a member of the tribe But I abhor Manischewitz all the more With every glass of eggnog I imbibe And I always give a dollar to the sidewalk Santas As they ring their little bells outside the stores 'cause they say that Christmas isn’t Christmas without the Salvation Army And herpes isn’t herpes without the sores Old Ebenezer was a grumpy grouchy geezer Who would rather lose a leg than spend a pound One day I asked him why, and his answer was surprising He said he couldn’t find a tzedakah box around You see, old Ebenezer was really Eleazer And he didn’t say “Bah Humbug Just the baruch-hu Maybe Ebenezer just had Jesus envy too He had Jesus Envy Jesus Envy
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