Quorthon The Notforgettin' Lyrics

I can see it clear now still I'm more and more confused
The ways of fate are vicious or is that just an excuse we use
And all the more I experience as these incidents comes by
Don't know if I still wanna learn the lesson for the pain makes me wanna die

I'm a man always very cautious before I choose, oh yeah
I'm a man always ready to wait many years
I have practically nothin' left to shred if I'd lose again
My prize seem to be to end up choking on my tears

For when the lights have gone out I seem unable to sleep
The pictures flick in my mind I close my eyes still I see
I'd give it all that I've got to make it go away
[From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/q/quorthon-lyrics/the-notforgettin_-lyrics.html]
Nothin' can change what's been done nor what we do or say

I can feel it coming how it's crawling up from inside
Less time now in between to recover and there's nowhere that I can run or hide
I wish that I could scream and shout out really smash all things up in my realm
To let go of my regrets and anguish but tell me how to smash one real bad dream

Once again I have found myself awake in the night
And the days I spend thinking of something happening way back in time
I regret and keeping on having to hurt fills me with fright
What is killing me slowly just won't go out of my mind

For the lights have gone out...