A B C D E F G H I gotta' gal wears her toenails long.
Drives a red Barracuda, singin' meat packer songs
And she ain't from Kalamazoo.
A B C D E F G H I gotta' friend lived in a Mercedes-Benz.
Then a 55 Chrysler where the trunk never ends/
And the plates say Kalamazoo.
He had a steady job and watched what he spent.
He'd say I don't believe in payin' no goddamn rent.
I'll squirrel away every goddamn cent
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And buy my own damn house in Kalamazoo.
I knew a guy that mangled his hand,
And he went from pipe fittin' to a hot dog stand.
They say last year he cleared fifty grand
Selling dogs round Kalamazoo.
She turned to the world with a bastard child.
Said, "I just can't handle him he's too damn wild".
But the years and the liquor have made him mild.
And he lays around in Kalamazoo.
Songwriter(s): Bryan Kei Mantia, Les Claypool, Reid L. Iii Lalonde
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