I bet my mates I could get a date with a girl called Edna
Gratton
She walked in the place, said she liked my face-
It was one she hadn't sat on
I said: 'I hope you're insured if you want me pork sword,
Its what comes when I sup Boddingtons, if you want a
quick fiddle,
Its wrapped round me middle, and in a warehouse down in
Warrington
Sit on me face, I'll guess your weight.'
They drip with fear when they see my beef spear
Come busting (combusting) out of me flies
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net]
When I've supped me ale, they get impaled, they just
can't take its size

Lying in this fucking field, outside Duckinfield,
Her knickers wet and sloppy
I was going to take her, when her cunt said:
'Breaker, breaker, anyone for a copy?'
I fumbled past the boils, dug out a rusty coil,
I could have been scarred for life
It lay there rusting, I said it smelled disgusting,
She said: 'Its Chanel No 5.' (channel number five)