Akiva:
Mr. Samberg, thanks for coming to your performance review.

Andy:
No problem.

Akiva:
So, you're in charge around here. Is that fair to say?

Andy:
Absolutely. I'm the boss.

Akiva:
Okay. So, take us through a day in the life of "the boss."

Andy:
Well, the first thing I do is...

Talk to corporate (Like a boss)
Approve memos (Like a boss)
Lead a workshop (Like a boss)
Remember birthdays (Like a boss)
Direct work flow (Like a boss)
My own bathroom (Like a boss)
Micromanage (Like a boss)
Promote synergy (Like a boss)

Hit on Deborah (Like a boss)
Get rejected (Like a boss)
Swallow sadness (Like a boss)
Send some faxes (Like a boss)
Call a sex line (Like a boss)
Cry deeply (Like a boss)
Demand a refund (Like a boss)
Eat a bagel (Like a boss)

Harassment lawsuit (Like a boss)
No promotion (Like a boss)
Fifth of vodka (Like a boss)
Shit on Deborah's desk (Like a boss)
Buy a gun (Like a boss)
In my mouth (Like a boss)

Oh, fuck, man. I can't fucking do it. Shit...

Pussy out (Like a boss)
Puke on Deborah's desk (Like a boss)
Jump out the window (Like a boss)
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net]
Suck a dude's dick (Like a boss)
Score some coke (Like a boss)
Crash my car (Like a boss)
Suck my own dick (Like a boss)
Eat some chicken strips (Like a boss)

Chop my balls off (Like a boss)
Black out in the sewer (Like a boss)
Meet a giant fish (Like a boss)
Fuck his brains out (Like a boss)
Turn into a jet (Like a boss)
Bomb the Russians (Like a boss)
Crash into the sun (Like a boss)
Now I'm dead (Like a boss)

Akiva:
Uh-huh. So, that's an average day for you then?

Andy:
No doubt.

Akiva:
You chop your balls off and die?

Andy:
Hell yeah.

Akiva:
And I think at, uh, one point there you said something about sucking your own dick?

Andy:
Nope.

Akiva:
Actually, I'm pretty sure you did.

Andy:
Nah, that ain't me.

Akiva:
Oh-kay. Well, this has been eye-opening for me.

Andy:
I'm the boss.

Akiva:
Yeah. No, I got that. You said it about four-hundred times.

Andy:
I'm the boss.

Seth (in distance):
Yeah. Yeah, I got it.

Andy:
I'm the boss.

Akiva:
No, I heard you. See you later. (door shuts)

(Like a boss)

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