I met him at a party
And he told me how to drive him home
He said he liked to do it backwards
I said, "That's just fine with me
That way we can fuck and watch TV"

It was four a.m. and the light was gray
Like it always is in paperbacks
He asked if I liked playing jacks
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I told him that I was good to sixes
But all hell broke loose after that

I told him that I knew Julia Roberts
When I was twelve at summer camp
We didn't say anything after that
I dropped him off and I drove on home
'Cause secretly I'm timid

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