Lard Can God Fill Teeth Lyrics

Don't ask me why

But I was walking down the streets

Of Fairfax, California

And I saw this flyer hangin'

On a telephone pole, and it said

CAN GOD FILL TEETH?

That's right!

For a $10 "Donation"

You could see silver fillings turn

To gold and other "supernormal dental happenings."

New caps! Filled cavities! Bring a

Flashlight and a mirror to observe.

But wait a minute -

Didn't I just read

About how the cops are getting parents

To plant bugging devices

In their kids teeth

So if they disappear they can track 'em

Before they wind up on the backs of milk cartons

And all that -

And didn't I read

That these devices can go two-way

And everything that I do or say

Is all goin' on tape somewhere right now

Planted in my cavities

And they didn't even tell me

No wonder every bad thing

In and out of my mouth

Keeps winding up on my employment record

All those fillings

All those crowns

I'll show them

Who's boss of my big mouth

Where's the pliars

God dammit! Where's the pliars?!?

Wilma! Where'd you put my electric drill

This is all coming out right now - TODAY!

Agh! Agh! Agh!

Agh! Agh! Agh!

Agh! Agh! Agh!

Must be some kind of conspiracy

The whole world's a God damn conspiracy

Look anywhere long enough, you're gonna find a conspiracy

Man, LIFE is a conspiracy!

Agh! Agh! Agh!

Agh! Agh! Agh!

Agh! Agh! Agh!

Needlenose

Up my nose

- Agh! -

Where did all these wires come from?

How far up into my skull do they go?

I pull out more and more copper spagetti

How'd my Weekly World News get all wet?

God damn fishsticks melted again

What are they trying to do to me?

No secrets left in the land of the free!

There

No one's gonna tell me what to do

It's worth eating baby food

The rest of my life

To be a free man

Bastards:

Probably wouldn't understand me anyway.