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[LL Cool J] Yeah.. Yeah I like that guitar man, yeah Yo E-Love I like the way you flipped that guitar man Knahmsayin? It was a good idea man, knahmsayin? Yeah It's kinda like freakin me, yaknahmsayin? I wanna get hype man, I wanna do this, yaknahmsayin? Just gon' chill, check it out
Slick as Vasoline, smell good as cologne I'm like a muscle man in jail -- they leave me alone I rhyme like Superman, you rap like Jimmy Olson I break you like a bottle of green Golden Molson You ain't a real rhymer, you look like a actress How you gon' sleep on me holmes, do I look like a mattress? Am I that old, do I walk like Grady? I'ma hundred-fifty proof, Smirnoff is only 80 Don't you EVER try to rock my house I'm a real cool cat, know what I'm sayin Mickey Mouse? The poetry specialist, so take a dose of this Now think about it -- can you really come close to this? You soft as powder, weak as a cabin cooler Ugly as work shoes, messin with the Ruler: the ultimate writer reciter and def entertainer I work myself harder than a boxer's trainer
[Chorus: LL Cool J]
Clap your hands everybody (aiyyo) And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo) Clap your hands everybody (aiyyo) And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo) I said, clap your hands everybody (aiyyo) And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo) Clap your hands everybody (aiyyo) And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)
[LL Cool J] You end up, underneath my sneaker You're dog doo-doo, I'm watchin you get weaker You can't believe, the skill and dexterity LL Cool J, and the J is for Jeremy So BUFF ME, James Todd the earthquaker That's right my brother, you're goin out like Sega {*censored*} chewed, so whassup dude? One of my battles'll get your girlies in the mood Sucker MC's really make me sick I'm so bad, I can suck my own {dick} If you go to your girl's house and I'm there already Don't go Crazy cause my name ain't Eddie Rhymes so rough, it's like a course in trigonometry When Einstein was talkin, he was talkin bout ME The Prince of the Earth, and I'ma give birth to a rhyme so hard you look soft as a Smurf Gigglin and wigglin, so how we goin out? LOVELY, and that's without a doubt!
[Chorus 3/4X]
[LL Cool J] Rappers are my servants, they serve me like an emperor When I'm through, you'll need a nurse to take your temperature and cool you down, cause you're cold as leftovers Not the ones on the table, I'm talkin about RUFF rovers You can't get over -- what's my name, Goofy? You smoke I'm no joke, so my brother break out the looseys and take a pull, cause the buck stops here I get swift as a magician, wreck {shit} and dissapear Don't cross me, or lose your loyalty to the Prince of the Rap Court, I'm royalty And it ain't no puzzle, it's a shame how rappers guzzle paragraphs I put together so I carry a muzzle to shut em up and cut em up and make em be quiet I'm a one man RIOT, so don't even TRY IT The Prince of special tactics, plus I'm athletic Before you play your hand you better do some calisthetics Jumpin jacks, squats, push-ups, the whole nine Speak your piece, then I'ma go for mine And I guarantee you, I'm gonna strike again I recommend my friend you drop the pen and give in Cop out to one rhyme cause you're facin ten I ain't Sidney Poitier but we can 'Do This Again' I'm nice wit mines, and I gotta admit it You don't really wanna battle, why don'tcha just forget it!
[Chorus 1/2]
[LL Cool J] But if you're hard headed and you still don't understand Here's a little sample -- EHM EHM, my man
(BRRRRRRRING) "Hello?" [cut n scratch "Cool J"] ".. takes everything you've got" -> [Cheers (theme song)] [cut n scratch "pushin a broom"] ".. sure would help a lot" -> [Cheers (theme song)]
[LL Cool J] Check my stats, how we livin, I thought so I'm fresh, oh yes, but can they flow, hell no My rhymes are up to date, excellent, on point I'm tellin you, they're the serious joint I eat my steak fast, I drink my brew slow My voice is milky with a nice clear flow I eat like a fat man, and walk like a gigolo I'm not a ballplayer, so now Y'KNOW!
Clap your hands everybody (aiyyo) And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo) cause I rock the house, everybody (aiyyo) And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)
KnowhatI'msayin? And I'ma be straight til the year 3000 That's word to mother, knahmsayin? And I say mother with a V cause the V is for Victory yaknahmsayin? Cause I'm the victor in this game, word up Knahmsayin? That's what time it is, peace
[crew applause]
That man, he sure is FUNKY FUNKY FUNKY FUNKY! Funky, he sho' is! You best believe he's FUNKY! You didn't KNOW??? FUNKY!
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