King Missile Detachable Penis Lyrics

Transcribed by: ldoering@engin.umich.edu (Laurence Doering)
Subject: Detachable Penis
Date: 15 Dec 92 07:26:20 GMT
Detatchable Penis, by King Missile
    I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
    And my penis was missing again.
    This happens all the time.
    It's detachable.

    [background singing begins: "detachable penis" over and over]

    This comes in handy a lot of the time.
    I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
    or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
    But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
    and the next morning I can't for the life of me
    remember what I did with it.
    First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
    So I called up the place where the party was,
    they hadn't seen it either.
    I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
    'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
    But not this time.
    So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
    I called a few people who were at the party,
    but they were no help either.
    I was starting to get desperate.
    I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
    It makes me feel like less of a man,
    and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
    After a few hours of searching the house,
    and calling everyone I could think of,
    I was starting to get very depressed,
    so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
    Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
    where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
    I saw my penis lying on a blanket
    next to a broken toaster oven.
    Some guy was selling it.
    I had to buy it off him.
    He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
    I took it home, washed it off,
    and put it back on.  I was happy again.  Complete.
    People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
    but I don't know.
    Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
    I like having a detachable penis.

    [background voices continue to sing "detachable penis" for
     a while, then out]