Kevin Bloody Wilson Pussy Tricks Lyrics

I was sittin' backstage shittin' meself at the Jerry Springer show,
Me missus said she wanted to tell me somethin' and she wanted the
world to know,
While she was out gettin' her makeup done I stared across the room
and seen,
This f*ckin' A-grade ten and half and she was starin' back at me,
But she was standin' upside down on her head, with her legs spread
in the air,
And the primal urge surged when I seen she weren't wearin' any
underwear,
So I asked her why she's upside down like that and did she know
she weren't wearin' and knickers?
She said "I'm goin' on the Jerry Springer show 'cause I do p*ssy
tricks',
What? 'I do p*ssy tricks.

I do p*ssy tricks (puss puss p*ssy tricks) like stuff you've never
seen,
p*ssy tricks (puss puss p*ssy tricks) and I'm gonna be in TV
And I'll blow smoke rings from a big cigar, just like Monica did,
Fair dinkum f*ckin' amazin' p*ssy tricks".

Then she told me what her name was, and I told her mine,
And she apologised for standin' with her legs in the air but she was
waitin' for her hair to dry,
Then she asked would I mind if she practiced, would I f*ckin' mind?
So I shut the door bolted the latch pulled up a chair and said, "Oh
alright",
Then she stood on her head and she said "Hey Kev, watch this one,
what do you think?"
And I near polvolted out'a me chair that p*ssy started winkin', like this,
That p*ssy started winkin'.

And she done p*ssy tricks (puss puss p*ssy tricks) like stuff I've
never seen,
p*ssy tricks (puss puss p*ssy tricks) p*ssy winkin' back at me
Then she blew smoke rings from a big cigar, just like Monica did,
Fair dinkum f*ckin' amazin' p*ssy tricks.

Then she asked me to move in closer and she said "Hey Kev, watch
this",
And I swear as true as I'm standin' here that p*ssy puckered up and
blew me a kiss,
And what happened next you wouldn't believe and I swear on a
stack'a bibles,
She grabbed me head between her legs and that f*ckin' p*ssy was
smilin', like this,
Then she begged me to stick a couple'a fingers in, couple'a fingers
f*ckin' hell,
My mates aren't gonna believe me, that cunt could whistle as well,
f*ckin' hell,
That cunt could whistle as well.

And she done p*ssy tricks (puss puss p*ssy tricks) first it winked at
me like this,
p*ssy tricks (puss puss p*ssy tricks) puckered up and blew me a
kiss
Then she combed her hair like Elvis, and she twitched her upper lip
like this,
Fair dinkum f*ckin' amazin' p*ssy tricks.

Fair dinkum f*ckin' amazin' p*ssy tricks.

"Thank you, thank you very much".
Fair dinkum f*ckin' amazin' p*ssy tricks.