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[story-teller] Once upon a time, in the black part of the city [young kid] Yo G, yo G you better get out of here man, 5-0 [door swings shut, car peels out]
[Russ] Yo Ice Cube, man [Cube] Whassup man? [Russ] Why you... [Cube] Whassup? [Russ] Yo Ice Cube man, why you always kickin the shit about the bitches and the niggaz? Why don't you kick some shit about the kids, man? The fuckin kids?! [Cube] Word
[Verse One: Ice Cube]
Little boys and girls, they all love me Come sit on the lap of I-C-E And let me tell ya a story or two About a punk-ass nigga I knew Named Jack, he wasn't that nimble, wasn't that quick Jumped over the candlestick and burnt his dick Ran up the street cause he was piping hot Met a bitch named Jill on the bus stop Dropped a line or two, and he had the hoe At that type of shit he's a pro So Jack and Jill ran up the hill to catch a lil nap Dumb bitch, gave him the claps Then he had to go see Dr. Bombay Got a shot in the ass, and he was on his way To make some money, why not? Down on Sesame Street, the dope spot There he saw the lady who lived in a shoe Sold dope out the front, but in back, marijuana grew For the man that was really important Who lived down the street in a Air Jordan Ride to the fellow Mister Rogers and hoes Drove a 500 sittin on Lorenzoes He broke out, Little Bo Peep, smoked out Saw, her and her friends sellin sheepskins
[Little Bo Peep] Yo yo I got them sheepskins Yo, my empty sheepskins Yo baby, what's up with that?
Hickory dickory dock, it was twelve o'clock Cinderella ain't home must be givin up the cock I don't doubt it, she is kind of freaky of course Had a fight with Snow White, she was fuckin her dwarfs Saw a fight over colors, too Red Riding Hood, and Little Boy Blue A bad influence? Yo I don't know But Ice Cube'll tell the kids how the story should go
[Interlude: Little Russ]
Yeah money, that's it, yeah money, that's it This is Little Russ in the house Rock that shit homey, rock that shit! (Well, you know the rest)
[Verse Two: Ice Cube]
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall With a joint, drinkin some 8-ball Three little pigs in a Coup de Ville Lookin for, the wolf to kill They're fucked up and they want revenge Them and Humpty used to be friends Now they're enemies cause he's a traitor Pulled out the Uzi cruised by and sprayed him Cinderella hoeing for the fellas And Mister Rogers is gettin mighty jealous Of the cash that the pigs were makin Time for the pigs to get turned to bacon Cause Mister Rogers found out quick That Humpty Dumpty was blown to bits They said that the motherfuckin wolf was next So Mister Rogers better watch his step So he let the wolf know We're gonna fuck up the pigs, and take their ho Cause Cinderella is much too fast Before twelve, givin up ass Double barrels all loaded and cocked As soon as they show, they gonna get popped They bailed down Sesame Street and caught em Little Boy Blue is up front givin orders Little did they know Cinderella was a fink She called the cops and got thrown in the clink A bad influence? Yo, I don't know But Ice Cube'll tell the kids how the stories should go
[Outro: Little Russ, Ice Cube]
[Cube] Aiyyo man was that dope enough for you? [Russ] Yeah you aight, you in the house We outta here, seeeee-yaaaaa [Cube] Yeah you better go home before I whoop your little bad ass
[Barney Rubble] Some bedtime story huh? [Bugs Bunny] It's a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't wanna live here
[Andrew Dice Clay] Ay, good ol' Mother Goose, remember her? I fucked her
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