HORRIBLE HISTORIES


Caveman Love Lyrics

I'm just a lonely cavegirl
Searching for a date
Looking for cave romance
Or at least a caveman date

My momma says I must wait here
Until the moon is bright
With cakes, milk and honey as gifts for the Gods
Or as snack food for Mr. Right

Now crawl around three times
On your hands and knees
And if the face of a handsome man comes into view
Then he's your caveman love

I think I must look really silly
What caveman in his right mind would go for a crawling, circling cavegirl
like -
Oh, are you the man for me?

My handsome caveman husband
Is all I'd hoped he would be
He likes to go out hunting
Then I cook it for his tea

I promise to love him forever
Until he's old and grey
He'll live to the grand age of thirty
At which point he'll probably pass away

But that doesn't mean you stop loving him
'Cause now you have to prepare
A burial to show how much you care
For your caveman love

First I set fire to my husband
Then carefully cut off his skin
Boil in a pot some oysters and snakes
Let the funeral begin
Drop in some limpets and winkles
And sprinkles of mouse, toad and shrew
Then put out the fire with the cauldron
And say au revoir to my caveman love
My caveman love
Caveman love.

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