Half Man Half Biscuit Architecture And Morality Ted And Alice Lyrics

The wonderful dexterity of Hannu Mikkula
Makes me want to shake hand with the whole of Finland
But the horrible sincerity of Miriam Stoppard
Makes me wanna go out and commit mass murder

I ranked Jane Scott for a genuine friend
She was otherwise engaged so i looked round the bend
I saw the wheels of nihilism rolling my way
Now i live life in the bus lane
Yeah i live life in the bus lane

The halcyonic dynamo that lit up my childhood
Made me feel secure on the roads in winter
But the nauseating bashfulness of early Diana
Makes me want to set fire to commemorative tea towels

I walked across the road with a peach in my hand
A hammer in my head and i couldn't understand Behind us stood a maniac laughing at me
Saying "I like to watch the adverts
Yeah i saw it in the adverts"

Aaaah!

You fold your grandma's neck
And smother her with custard
As a contribution to your folio
And the very next morning
You take her into college
And the tutor with the beard and the polio
Says "Well it has got potential
And it could well be essential
But it should be more dramatic if you know what i mean"

Have you tuned in
To Radio da da
Every friday evening
At six in the morning
Scan the airwaves
For Radio da da
It goes something like this.