FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS


Bus Driver's Song Lyrics

G'day, my name is Tony
On behalf of myself and the coachline
I'd like to thank you for choosing to drive with us today
I'm a local, I hope I can impart some of my local knowledge
If you got any questions don't hesitate just to sing out
For those who are interested there's the Old Bridge swaying away
Replaced by the New Bridge in 1972
Funny thing, the Old Bridge used to be called the New Bridge
Yeah, bit of a funny thing

Up ahead there's the bronze of Bluey, your local sheepdog
Who became a member of Regional Council
It was a bloody great day for dogs
Not just here but everywhere in the North Island
That's the town's oldest street
That's the Museum of Meat
There's the town's largest industry
That's the sock factory, hence the giant sock

The town hall
Note the mosaic wall
Well there are 5600 tiles on that wall,
I know, I counted them all
A local school, a local swimming pool
Which was opened by the Governor General back in 1952
Where I was caught with a friend aged 11
Sniffing tractor fuel
We thought we were pretty cool,
Breaking them changing shed rules

Do you see up there?
The banner hanging in the air
The Presbyterian Fair
Well, I never go
There's too many presbyterians there
But if you're interested
The fair's in the third weekend of August every year
But don't bother entering their raffle,
It's always won by some kid of the Mayor

Well, do you hear that sound?
The town clock, heard from anywhere in town
Until 1960, it was a little place in Norway
We bought it for a hundred pounds
Rumor has it they sold it cheap because the chimes were too loud
But every time I hear that sound it makes me so proud

Look to your left
What a beautiful sight
It's Paula, Paula Thompson,
nee Paula Wright
Look at her hair, it's still gorgeous even now
Flowing like the Waimahanga River,
Which incidentally, is to your right
And is the largest in the area
In terms of volume
Everybody, look at Paula, look at Paula Thompson
I always thought I'd marry Paula,
But some things just don't work out that way
Well, that's the most important thing you'll learn on the tour today
That and the fact there'll be a toilet break
At the information centre near the man-made lake

Yeah I'll just ask you one favor
If you do see Paula in town later on
That you don't mention the details of the tour
I'd appreciate that
Same goes for my wife, Gloria
You'll recognize her, she looks a hell of a lot like Paula, actually
She often gets mistaken for Paula
But, um, no, well, she's not Paula, that's for sure
No, no

Paula Thompson born in '54
To a family of four
To the family next door
Take me back next door
Paula Thompson nee Paula Wright
That's her old house number 39
Number 41 was mine
If this old coach could go back in time
I'd drive to 1979
Take me back

Take me back, take me back
Take, take, take, take me back
Take me back, take me back
Take, take, take, take me back
Take me back
Take me back
Take me back
Take me back
Take me back
Take me back

Yeah, sorry about that
I always get a little bit emotional
on the corner of Rutherford and Brown Street
But that is truly the end of the tour so mind your step
Yeah, good on ya

these lyrics are submitted by kaan

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