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[Verse One] I was born with a dick in my brain, Yeah fucked in the head My step father said that I sucked in the bed 'Till one night he snuck in and said, We're going out back, I want my dick sucked in the shed Can't we just play with Teddy Ruxpin instead? After I fuck you in the butt, get some head, bust a nut, get some rest The next day my mother said, I don't know what the fuck's up with this kid The bastard won't even eat nothin' he's fed He just hung himself in the bedroom he's dead Debbie don't let that fucker get you upset, Go in there stick a fuckin' cigarette to his neck I bet you he's faking it, I'll bet you I bet he just wants to see how upset you would get I'll go handle this of course unless you object Ah go fuck his brains out if any's left in his head
[Chorus] If you could count the skeletons in my closet Under my bed and up under my faucet Then you would know I completely lost it Is he nuts? No, he's insane!
You could count the skeletons in my closet Under my bed and up under my faucet Then you would know I completely lost it Is he nuts? No, he's insane!
[Verse 2] Naw, fucker tried to bite my face off I just got fuckin' chased off with a chainsaw Then he took the chainsaw, bit the fuckin' blades off Ate the blades, stuck a baseball in a slingshot Then he aimed at his own face, let the thing pop Took his eye out, picked it up and played ping pong Then he played ping pong with his own ding dong That mother fucker's got nuts like King Kong Then he set the lawn mower out on the dang lawn And he laid all up underneath it with the thing on Then he took his pants, he took every fuckin' thing off Everything except his tank top and his training bra Ain't he raw? Yeah, maniac that's shady dog Man, that mother fucker's gangsta, ain't he dog? Shady, dog, what be goin' through that fuckin' brain of yours? Say no more, what the fuck you be waitin' for? Sing along
[Chorus] If you could count the skeletons in my closet Under my bed and up under my faucet Then you would know I completely lost it Is he nuts? No, he's insane!
You could count the skeletons in my closet Under my bed and up under my faucet Then you would know I completely lost it Is he nuts? No, he's insane!
[Verse 3] Don't you know what felch means? (Yeah) Well then tell me, Would you rather get felched or do the felching? Fucked him in the ass I could come out when you're belching (Burping noise) Burp, belch, and go back for a second helping Can you dig what I'm saying man? Can you smell me? I want you to feel me like my step father felt me Fuck a little puppet, kick the puppy while he's yelping Shady, what the fuck you sayin'? I don't know help me! What the fuck's happening? I think I'm fucking melting Marshall I just love you boy, I care about your well being No dad, I said no, I don't need no help peeing I'm a big boy, I can do it by myself, see? I only get naked when the babysitter tells me She showed me a movie like "Nightmare on Elm's Street" But it was X and they called it "Pubic Hair on Chelsea" Well this is called ass rape and we're shooting the jail seen
[Chorus] If you could count the skeletons in my closet Under my bed and up under my faucet Then you would know I completely lost it Is he nuts? No, he's insane
You could count the skeletons in my closet Under my bed and up under my faucet Then you would know I completely lost it Is he nuts? No, he's insane!
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