Amil Smile 4 Me Lyrics

My life
Is in the arms of the man upstairs
Through trials and tribulations
He'll always be there
You see I know he loves me
And I know he cares
And he'll bever put more on me
Than I can bear

[Verse 1]
Is it a blessing to live or a blessing to die?
Let me finish out this hell with no questions why
I should be happy I'm on and dressing fly
But is the game changing me for the extra pie
If you could look into the life I live
Three sixty catching up to all the trife I did
Got my people up north trying to slice the bid
While I'm in love with a nigga with a wife and kid
Maybe if my pops ain't abandon me
I wouldn't let so many niggas take advantage of me
Using me some even put their hands on me
I wonder what the most high got planned for me
My life line getting shorter when I look in my palms
Swore I'll be nothing like my biological mom
She ain't raise me so naturally I never felt a bond
At 16 got my GED never saw a prom

[Chorus]
I been weak and I been strong
I been through the fire, I been through the storm
Try to do right and I know I do wrong
Just be happy for me when my life is gone
Cause no more hurt and no more tears
There'll be no more pain and no more fears
No more people in my face that's not sincere
So smile 4 me when I'm no longer here

[Verse 2]
At a young age I let the world turn me out
Pellets and purple haze been burnt me out
A hard knock life is all I learned about
( From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/a/amil-lyrics/smile-4-me-lyrics.html )
Trying to eat the only thing I be concerned about
Telling my youth everything happens for a reason
Let him know ain't that his father wanted to leave him
If it wasn't for the streets he'd still be breathing
Trying to raise him myself but I know he need him
Me and my seed used to live off mostly welfare
Only two checks a month for us both to share
I remember making sure that the coast was clear
So I could boost us some muthafucking clothes to wear
Had to hustle 'cause them food stamps just wasn't enough
Upstate back to Broadway gott to go re-up
All this fast cash only turned the heat up
Can't afford to get knocked but who gonna feed us

Chorus

[Verse 3]
Can't shake these thoughts of suicide
Anyone I ever loved or was close to died
Ones I trusted or thought was being true lied
A lifetime of tears but only a few I cried
Try to take my past stick it up on a shelf
But my actions stem from all the pain I felt
I'm just trying to make the best out the hand I dealt
If I fall who can I turn to for help
Hope my man with me or with my health
Will he be there through good and bad sickness and health?
Does he want the real me or somebody else?
I been in wars just so I don't jurt myself
Now that I'm on most can't stand me now
They was happy when I rocked all them hand me downs
When I need them funny how they can't be found 
That's why the most high's my only family now

Chorus