MONTY PYTHONBishop On The Landing Lyrics
Mother: (turning off radio) liberal rubbish! Klaus!
M: Whaddaya want with yer jugged fish?
M: The jugged fish IS 'alibut!
K: Well, what fish 'ave you got that isn't jugged?
K: What, rabbit fish?
M: Uuh, yes...it's got fins....
K: Is it dead?
M: Well, it was coughin' up blood last night.
K: All right, I'll have the dead unjugged rabbit fish.
voice over: one dead unjugged rabbit fish later:
K: (putting down his knife and fork) Well, that was
M: Aaw, you're always complainin'!
K: Wha's for afters?
M: Rat cake, rat sorbet, rat pudding, or strawberry
K: (eyes lighting up) Strawberry tart?
M: Well, it's got *some* rat in it.
K: 'Ow much?
M: Three. A lot, really.
K: Well, I'll have a slice without so much rat in it.
voice over: One slice of strawberry tart without so
much rat in it later:
K: (putting down fork and knife) Appalling.
M: Naw, naw, naw!
Son: (coming in the door) 'Ello Mum. 'Ello Dad.
K: 'Ello son.
S: There's a dead bishop on the landing, dad!
M: Where's it from?
S: Waddya mean?
M: What's its diocese?
S: Well, it looked a bit Bath and Wells-ish to me...
K: (getting up and going out the door) I'll go and have
M: I don't know...kids bringin' 'em in here....
S: It's not me!
M: I've got three of 'em down by the bin, and the
dustmen won't touch 'em!
K: (coming back in) Leicester.
M: 'Ow d'you know?
K: Tattooed on the back o' the neck. I'll call the
M: Shouldn't you call the church?
S: Call the church police!
K: All right. (shouting) The Church Police!
(sirens racing up, followed by a tremendous crash)
(the church police burst in the door)
Detective What's all this then, Amen!
M: Are you the church police?
All the police officers: (in unison) Ho, Yes!
M: There's another dead bishop on the landing, vicar
Detective: Uh, Detective Parson, madam. I see...
suffrican, or diocisian?
M: 'Ow should I know?
D: It's tatooed on the back o' their neck. (spying the
tart) 'Ere, is that rat
D: Disgusting! Right! Men, the chase is on! Now we
should all kneel!
(they all kneel)
All: O Lord, we beseech thee, tell us 'oo croaked
Voice of the Lord: The one in the braces, he done it!
Klaus: It's a fair cop, but society's to blame.
Detective: Agreed. We'll be charging them too.
K: I'd like you to take the three by the bin into
D: Right. I'll now ask you all to conclude this harrest
with a hymn.
All: All things bright and beautiful,
All creatures great and small,
All things wise and wonderful,
The church fuzz nicked them all.
Amen. Correct these lyrics
these lyrics are submitted by kaan