Piles Lyrics

She came from Biddulph, and she called me "duck"
I'd seen her picture in a dirty book,
Something secret made her give it up,
She wouldn't spill the beans
But something's the matter, coz my car seat smelled
She had the hardest pair of panties that I've ever felt
She must be wearing a chastity belt - I couldn't get in
her jeans.
She said: "Can you keep a secret?" and confided in me
"Don't go telling nobody!"
I said: "This bastard's going on the next LP!"
And I yelled at the top of my lungs...
She's got piles up her arse, piles up her bum, piles up
her fanny and a sore rectum
Piles up her arse, piles up her bum, and bunions She can't wipe her arse, and her gusset's soiled
By the pus dripping out of her haemmoroids
Everybody's calling her Olive Boil
She said: "Don't take the piss"
Nodules up her bottom and pink polyps
Warts up her sphincter and her buttock lips
She leaves mucus wherever she sits
"Hey, lads! Look at this!"

She's got piles up her arse, piles up her bum, piles up
her fanny and a sore rectum
Piles up her arse, piles up her bum, and bunions

Everytime she squats upon my face
My nose gets full of evil-smelling paste
My eyes get blinded by a bright pink bunch of grapes

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