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[Ludacris:] Hi, my name's Ludacris and I'm high as giraffes (yeah) And I'm close to the edge so your parents can come push me I curse so much just to get on they nerves I got kids acting a fool from the traps to the birbs My filthy mouf it wont fight cavities or beat plaque So I shot the tooth fairy (aahhh) and took my old teeth back I'll take a shit on the equator, the size of a crater And make Government officials breath harder than Darth Vader Its the chicken & the beer that make Luda keep rapping But no pork on my fork I don't even speak pig Latin I go fishing on my lake wit some bitches to bake Plus I eat many MC's but I don't gain no weight The number 1 chief rocker clean out your rap lockers I'm as stiff as a board your more shook than maracas But my tricks ain't for kids if you dig em' you'll get smacked I'll clock yah, I'll spring forward you far back (whoo) Every album that I drop has got more than ten bangers (yeah) Thats cause I'm a shot caller ya'll fools are crank yankers (bells) Ain't a damn thing changed but the ice on my chain I get chicks from Portland Oregan to Portland Mayne Now I role up torpedoes, get blunted wit rastas For a hefty fee I'm on your record like Bob Castas (yeah) I own so many jerseys, I'm a throw-back mess I hit the cleaners an tell em' "I want a full court press" (owe) So mama toast yah glass while I'm counting my cash Cause every single is a smash, I'm hot as a camels ass (ha) The competition never just wanna admit that they lost And that they last about as long as my part in The Wash From your car to crap game no one rolls with you One of MiniMe's shoes got more soul than you (OK) So by the time you figure out why your record ain't spinning I'm in the strip club smoking, wit President Clinton (cough cough cough) So stay of the long side-burns and gold teeth (teeth) They make the mold of the penis enlarger off me (me) I'll be in another when I hit from the back (back) Not to mention my refrigerators taller than Shaq (yeah) So yippie ka ye yippie ya ya yo (yo), if you can't swim don't smoke my hydro (dro) I've been looking for a woman just to put my stamp on But a lotta ya'll are more stuck up than tampons (whoo) So wash all you sins away and stop playing (yeah) If God's line is busy you might have to two way him (uh hmm) And catch me in your back yard playing crokay And I'm drunk I'm telling kids "drugs are bad umm-kay" Or watch me swing my chains at the Roscoes off Pico Got seven cars get on my rims at chrome depo And people think I'm bad they say "ooh he's so evil" Cause I go on blind dates with actual blind people (owe) But my albums out the store, yours be on the shelf (uh hmm) I heard you masturbate a lot so ya'll keep to yourself Cause these women want a man to stay up and stay strong Like the NBA, you gotta play hard or go home All that shit that ya'll talking ya'll can pop it to them Cause Ludacris will beat you down with a prosthetic limb I'll put my foot so deep in your ass that you can smell it And your breath'll turn to Footlocker water repelant I'm the man I got money far as the eyes can see And I'm in a group I split do wit me me and me So much money in my jewelry that I'm damn near sorry So ima trade my earings in, and get a Ferrari (whoo) I buy cars wit straight cash, have meetings with Donald Trump Yall meet wit Honda, no payments for 12 months (uh huh) Take a look at your life and no wonder your so sad Ya'll put up wit more shit than a colostomy bag Ha ha ha
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