She's been on her feet nearly half the damned night
Bringing your beverage and your late night bite
She remains cheerful, when you're nasty and tight
Makes change for a 50 in dim candle light
Ignoring the groping hoping you might
Come across with a tip and sympathize with her plight
Tip that waitress

She's getting her masters, supporting her mom
Amidst the confusion she remains cool and calm
She knows exits in case of a fire or bomb
She knows all the words to the 23rd Psalm
She handles her tray with pnash and aplomb
Her brother's a Quaker, her dad was in Nam
Tip that waitress

Tip that waitress, she's been waiting on you
Skip the small change slap down a dollar or two
Her arches are aching her lower back shot
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net ]
Her varicose veins hurt like hell when it's hot
Her uniform's too tight, tasteful it's not
She knows the specials, and they are not a lot
The cook is on qualudes the busboy deals pot
If she had a real job she'd quit on the spot
So tip that waitress

This plea for gratuity's gone on way too long
there's a time and a place where them things belong
The stage and a soapbox, this is only a song
To dwell on the matter much more would be wrong
And people get by, she'll get along
But I think she gets off when I come on strong
So tip that waitress

Tip that waitress, she's been waiting on you
Skip the small change slap down a fiver or two

(Repeat verse 1)