Here we go downtown
Oh, I gotta go all around
You can't stop
Feel the pull
You can't stay, won't stay away
You just won the lottery - that's ka-blamo!
You kissed Shannen Doherty - that's ka-blamo!
You joined a sorority - that's ka-blamo!
You lied about the lottery - not ka-blamo!
You met Fred Segal at a debutante's ball
You gave him your number, he gave you a call
He told you to meet him at the corner at eight
You met him at nine, that's right, you were late
You stupid idiot, you don't know what you missed
Fred Segal's a star, and you called diss
His pimping-ass, cooling-ass, mack-ass building
With iggidy-ivy on the wall but not around the lettering
You dissed Fred Segal, and everybody knows
Ha ha ha ha ha! You're not ka-blamo!
The doc fixed your artery - that's ka-blamo!
Your mouthwash is gargly - that's ka-blamo!
Your water is watery - that's ka-blamo!
I majored in pottery - not ka-blamo!
You're chillin with your dudes and they stab you in the face
On the way to the hospital you're bleedin all over the place
Your leg is amputated cause you got gangrene
And then you get cancer and you die in your teens
But then this really pretty girl who you always really liked
Shows up to your funeral and that's a real mixed blessing
Your jello is wobbly - that's ka-blamo!
You met Gilbert Gottfried - that's ka-blamo!
You're Harlem Globetrottery - that's ka-blamo!
You wash the disorderlies - not ka-blamo!
When you're mining for coal and you forget what coal is
And you're sure to be fired, because that's your job
When a mole's in your ass and you wonder where the mole is
You're screwed man, a mole is in your ass... job
The meaning of life is revealed to you
And all of the drinks are old English brew
Your whim is the word of the people on earth
But the whole mole-in-the-ass thing is haunting you... earth
When your fluids are bodily
What happened to ka-blamo?
I mean ka-blamo!
Good, that's better
Wait, I'm confused...
We said ka-blamo!
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