JAMES E.F LANDAU


The Antidepressant Song Lyrics

(Sung to the tune of the Orpheus Overture)
PATIENT:
Prozac, Zoloft, doxepin,
Sulpiride, mianserin,
Buspar and haloperidol,
Trazodone -- I've tried it all;
Flupentixol decanoate,
Pimozide, clorazepate,
Imipramine, Anafranil,
Fluphenazine in a pill;
Alprazolam, fluspirilene,
CataPres, chlorpromazine,
And chlordiazepoxide;
Oxazepam I've even tried!
What with all these drugs I'm using,
My patience is the thing I'm losing,
For that matter, I'm refusing
Trying any more!
DOCTOR:
Maybe this will help your tension!
PATIENT:
Don't you dare to even mention . . .
Any amitriptyline,
Or some tranylcypromine,
Phenelzine to help erase
Monoamine oxidase.
Lofepramine, fluvoxamine,
Lorazepam, nortriptyline,
Nor trifluoperazine . . .
I think you know what I mean.
No dose of iproniazid!
No isocarboxazid!
Forget about nialamide!
Stop your searching far and wide!
You might try one or two,
But if they don't work for you,
Call up your psychiatrist, announce to him you're through!

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