I Need My Ass Kicked Lyrics

I need my ass kicked and I need it done right
For a long pattern of ridiculous behavior culminating on Saturday night
I'm gonna find me a big old redneck and I'm gonna start a fight
I need my ass kicked, and that'll set things right

I been stoned every single day of my life since 1984
Ask any of my friends and they will all tell you that my favorite drug is more
My brother-in-law won't talk to me says I'm a cheater and a liar
Claims I asked my wife's sister if she'd be in a manage a trois

I need my ass kicked and I need it done right
For a long pattern of ridiculous behavior culminating on Saturday night I'm gonna find me a big old redneck and I'm gonna start a fight
I need my ass kicked, and that'll set things right

I like to flip off the cops at the Walmart, just to see what they will do
My kids eat at Chuck-e-Cheese all the time on account a there's this waitress that I wanna screw
Last Saturday night they found me swimming, naked in my neighbor's pool
Ten cops and them were trying to fish me out while I was screamin' "I ain't nobody's fool!"

I need my ass kicked and I need it done right

I need my ass kicked, and that'll set things right

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