Watching The Detectives lyricsSongwriters: Macmanus, Declan;Nice girls, not one with a defect
Cellophane shrink-wrapped, so correct
Red dogs under illegal legs
She looks so good that he gets down and begs
She is watching the detectives
Ooh, he's so cute, she is watching the detectives
When they shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot
They beat him up until the teardrops start
But he can't be wounded 'cause he's got no heart
Long shot at that jumping sign
Invisible shivers running down my spine
Cut to baby taking off her clothes
Close-up of the sign that says, 'We never close'
He snatch at you and you match his cigarette [unverified]
She pulls the eyes out with a face like a magnet
I don't know how much more of this I can take
She's filing her nails while they're dragging the lake
She is watching the detectives
Ooh, he's so cute, she is watching the detectives
When they shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot
[From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elvis-costello-lyrics/watching-the-detectives-lyrics.html]
They beat him up until the teardrops start
But he can't be wounded 'cause he's got no heart
You think you're alone until you realize you're in it
Now fear is here to stay, love is here for a visit
They call it instant justice when it's past the legal limit
Someone's scratching at the window, I wonder who is it
The detectives come to check if you belong to the parents
Who are ready to hear the worst
About their daughter's disappearance
Though it nearly took a miracle to get you to stay
It only took my little fingers to blow you away
Just like watching the detectives
Don't get cute, it's just like watching the detectives
I get so angry when the teardrops start
But he can't be wounded 'cause he's got no hearts
Watching the detectives
It's just like watching the detectives
Watching the detectives
Watching the detectives
Watching the detectives
...
these lyrics are last corrected by Pauley - Sorry for the first one! 
Correct lyrics 
