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I always thought my movie Would be a comedy Not quite the tragedy that its become More slapstick than chickflick More Caddyshack than Breakfast At Tiffany's So, thank me at the podium For a lifetime of contribution Turn on the cameras Someone cue the extras Hair and makeup to the set
Because the big screen's callin Final casting call Its your big shot baby your the next big star On another stupid movie 'bout a guy with a broken heart Is fallin apart Your headed for the cutting room floor And in the sequel honey I'm the guy who gets the girl
So if you miss my movie Get the DVD Check out the chemistry Between you and me Less 'Raising Arizona' More 'Steel Magnolias' So when you walk down that red carpet I hope you trip and fall I hope someone squirts you with a watergun A super soaker filled with pee
Because the big screen's callin Final casting call Its your big shot baby your the next big star On another stupid movie About a guy with a broken heart Is fallin apart Your headed for the cutting room floor And in the sequel honey I'm the guy who gets the girl
All apologies To kevin costner and that chick from monster Give me Adam Sandler, Will Ferrell, Belushi and even Val Kilmer He was funny in 'Real Genius'
[Greg] What about 'Top Gun'? [Jaret] No, 'Top Gun' wasn't funny [Greg] Whatever
Top secret was funny too
Because the big screen's callin Final casting call Its your big shot baby your the next big star On another stupid movie About a guy with a broken heart Is fallin apart Your headed for the cutting room floor And in the sequel honey I'm the guy who gets the girl
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