She said it was just a figment of speech
And I said, "You mean figure?"
And she said, "No, figment"
Because she could never imagine it happening
But it did.
When we first met I played the shy boy
And when she spoke to me for the first time
My nose began to bleed
She guessed the rest
The next day we went on a bus ride to the ferry
And when nobody came to collect our fares
Well, I knew then this was something special
I couldn? t stop thinking about her
And every time I switched on the radio
There was somebody else singing a song about the two of us
It was just like being on a fast ride at the funfair
The sort you wanna get off because it? s scary
And then as soon as you? re off
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You wanna get straight back on again
But our love is strange
And you have to take the crunchy with the smooth I s'pose
She began going out with Mr Potato Head
It was when I saw her in the car park
With his coat around her shoulders that I realised
I went home and thought about the two of them together
Until the bath water went cold around me
I thought about her eyes and the curve of her breasts
And about the point where their bodies met
I confronted her about it.
I said, "I? m the most illegible bachelor in town."
And she said, "Yea, that's why I can never understand
Any of those silly letters you send me."
And then one day it happened
She cut 'er hair and I stopped lovin' 'er
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